The Kindness of Strangers and the Death of Chivalry

We're a quiet little family, living in a community known for gatherings, events and friendly neighbors.  There are seven houses on our circle, and the neighbors all know each other quite well ... except for us.  You see, Jonathan works long hours and by the time Christian gets up from his nap in the late afternoon, I'm making dinner ... and I can't just send Christian out to play at the park by himself.  He's only four, after all.

However, it is during that time when our neighbors are outside visiting - either on their front porches or across the street at the park.  I'm sure we've been the talk of the block on occasion, "Why aren't they ever outside?  Why don't they come visit with us?  Are they snobs?  Anti-social?"

We know three households on our block casually, but I wouldn't say we're close, tight-knit neighbors.  So you can imagine my surprise when one of them showed up a couple of days after we got home from the hospital and told me that the neighbors wanted to come together and bring us a few meals.   WOW!

We got meals on two nights, and they also came bearing gifts - clothing for Scarlett and cars for Christian.  I was touched by their kindness and thrilled that they were considerate of Christian's feelings, too.

The other night, Christian, Scarlett and I ventured out to get the mail and we were called over to our neighbor across the park.   We made our way over to find three of our neighbors there visiting.  One of them, Monica, I haven't seen for months.   But as soon as she saw me coming, she ran to her house and returned with a gift bag of outfits for Scarlett.  I was so humbled ... of all the neighbors, I've seen her the fewest times and yet, she was so kind to give us gifts for the baby.

These neighbors - who joked that they are our block's "Desperate Housewives" (none of them work) - provided a nice adult conversation outlet for me ... and they were amused by Christian's energy and antics.  Christian even sat in on of their laps and had a little conversation - not something he'd usually do with people he doesn't know.

We were completely blessed by the kindness of strangers (or, near-strangers) and are thankful for our new friends, all of whom have given us their phone numbers and have told us to call them if we need anything.

On the flip-side ... chivalry is dead.  Dead, I say.

One more than one occasion, I have noticed that as I'm walking up to the front door of the school - carrying the car seat (which Christian is weighing down because he's 'helping' me carry Scarlett), and also Christian's lunch bag and water bottle (because he's 'helping' me with Scarlett, he somehow can't carry his own stuff) and on Thursdays, I'm also carrying his backpack which houses his enticing show-and-tell object du jour - there is a dad taking his own kiddos to school and not as weighed down with objects as I am.  He will see I'm approaching the door, as is he, and he doesn't pause to hold the door open for a moment.  He allows the door to shut as I'm approaching the door.

I've noticed this only happens with the men (a few occasions - always a different man), and yet women are more than willing to hold the door open for another person.

I always try to hold the door open for somebody carrying a child, or otherwise has his/her arms full.   In fact, just yesterday as I was leaving the school while carrying Scarlett in her car seat, another mom was coming in - same situation:  walking in holding a car seat ... and I held the door open for her.

It's the principle of "The Golden Rule."   And it's also just nice thing to do.

And of course, to be fair, I should say that there are indeed some men who still hold the door open for a lady - my husband and father-in-law are among them.  

I certainly don't expect anybody to cater to me - we're all busy, rushed and otherwise preoccupied.  I'm just trying to figure out what happened to chivalry.

Is it really dead ... or just dormant?